Please leave a Message!
by Cherry-sama
Summary: Have you ever wondered what was on the Stone Holder's Answering Machines? Who doesn't? Please leave a message is a collection of them! See how Keima chases after the garbage truck and Yuuki goes on an epic quest to find her stolen blow drier! Insanity.
1. 1: Yuuki's Answering Machine

**Please leave a Message!  
****By Cherry-sama**

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AN: Hey, this is my first Dream Saga fic… This is also one of first Dream Saga fics. This is also my first answering machine fic, so if I really mess up, than don't flame me **too** much… 

**Disclaimer: I do not own Dream Saga, or anything else I've mentioned in this fic. To save on time, this is the only chapter I will post a disclaimer, but I want you to know that every time you read a chapter, I don't own anything…YET! MWAHAHAHAHA!**

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**Real World**

/Yuuki's Answering Machine/

Yuuki: Hello! This is Yuuki Wakasa! I'd like to thank the weird stalker that calls herself Cherry-sama for giving me this free answering machine. If you hear this message than you might as well know that I am currently busy dealing with my brothers or doing something else. Please leave a message after the—

Youji: YUUKI! KOUSUKE IS PLAYING WITH MY BALL AGAIN!

Kousuke: IT'S MY BALL! I HAVE THE GREEN ONE!

Youichi: BUT IT'S NOT YOURS! IT'S MINE!

Kousuke: THIS IS MY BALL!

Yuuki: _(sound of inhaling) _EEEEEEEEEEEEEENNNNNNOOOOOOUUUUUGGGGHHHHH!

#BEEP#

_Message 1:_ Hiya Yuuki. This is Keima. Keima Sagami. You yell really loud… I was wondering if you could give me any garbage you have before you throw it away…

Mrs. Sagami: Keima? Were you done with the trash yet?

Keima: Why, mom?

Mrs. Sagami: Because today is the day all the trash is collected. I already gave it to the garbage truck.

Keima: What? No! NOT MY PRECIOUS TRASH! _(sounds of running away are heard, along with a door slamming)_

Mr. Sagami: Dear? Why did Keima just run out of the house?

Mrs. Sagami: He running after the garbage truck.

Mr. Sagami: Oh. I see.

#BEEP#

_Message 2:_ Hey, Yuuki! This is Taizou Hyuga! I see that we aren't the only boys that are pushed around by your commands! Takamoron said that I'm a wimpy guy for doing my homework. And Souta says that I'm not smart because I don't do my homework! And Keima said that he'd rather rummage through the trash than listen to me! I'm confused… What do you suggest I do?

#BEEP#

_Message 3:_ Hi Yuuki! This is Takaomi Kai! Taizou still calls me Takamoron! If you hear him say that, can you yell at him for me? You have a stronger voice than I do… Well… I was kinda wondering… Umm… Ifyou'dgototheparkwithmethisafternoon! BYE!

#BEEP#

_Message 4:_ Hello. This is the sister of that stalker: Cherry-sama. Or SoC (Sister-of-Cherry-sama), as she likes to call me. I must warn you that you and the other stone holders are in great peril, because I have not caught that confounded beast. She is currently running loose in your town and is planning on stalking you and your friends. She explained her plans to me. But, before I could get her restrained, she had already had run out into the street yelling something about Tsukuyomi and chipmunks. As you can see, she is clearly insane. Please call me back once you have found out the location of this senseless culprit.

#BEEP#

_Message 5:_ Hi! It's me! Cherry-sama! You know, that random stalker who gave you the answering machine? Yeah… About that… I'm going to continue to stalk you and your friends and listen to your answering machine messages… Why, you ask? BECAUSE I'M A RANDOM STALKER! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA! Ahem. If…some person…calls about something and CLAIMS to be my older sister…you don't know that I'm in your backyard…

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AN: So yeah… I'm insane… And I just proved it on Mario Cart…xD… I acted drunk almost… I swear, the next chapters will be MUCH funnier! Anyways. This is also my first fic doing the author's notes like this. Why? Because…CHIPMUNK! Please review. CHIPMUNK! 


	2. 2: Takaomi's Answering Machine

**Chapter two  
****By Cherry-sama**

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AN: Hey… I'm back… And um… Read please… (Tofu Website isn't real… I think…)

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/Takaomi's Answering Machine/ 

Takaomi: Hey. This is Takaomi Kai. This random person, who I suspect that was stalking me, gave me this answering machine. She said her name was Cherry-sama and this was a free present from Tofu Website… Does anyone know what the Tofu Website is?

#BEEP#

_Message 1:_ Hi! This is Yuuki! Umm… I'm returning your call… And I have a question… What did you say that the end?

Kousuke: He said: 'BYE!'

Yuuki: Before that!

Youji: YOUICHI'S BEING MEAN AGAIN!

Youichi: I'm not! YUUKI! TELL HIM WHO'S RIGHT!

Yuuki: SHUT UP! Anyways… Takaomi… Do you know what happened to my blow drier? I searched the house and I can't find it… Do you think I forgot it at your place?

Kousuke: Why at _his_ place?

Yuuki: Ummm…

#BEEP#

_Message 2:_ TAKAOMI! It's Nachi Izumi! I was wondering… WHY DON'T YOU LOVE ME? WHY DO YOU LOVE YUUKI, BUT NOT ME? AREN'T I PRETTY ENOUGH? Well… It would help if I were a woman… TAKAOMI! I LOVE YOU SOOO! But alas, if Yuuki manages to win your heart, I still have Souta! OHHH SOUTA DARLING!

#BEEP#

_Message 3:_ Ummm… Takaomi? It's me Souta… Souta Inaba… Ummm… Nachi's acting weird…I mean more than usual… He keeps rambling on about how he loves you and stuff about a blow…something… Anyways… Keima's gone… I asked his parents where he is and they only said that he wasn't finished sorting… I've tried all sorts of theories but I've hadn't been able to get the answer…or a logical one… Maybe if I try to lure him with a bunch of trash, I'll be able to find him…

#BEEP#

_Message 4:_ …How does this work? Ahem. This is Miss Nakime. I seemed to have reached a connection in the Real World, from the Dream World. You see, somehow this Cherry-sama person has given all the people in our world answering machines too… But for some odd reason, most people can't use them because we don't have a single phone, because we haven't invented any… However, I have somehow managed to create a phone out of plants and berries, which I am using now. However, I am currently being attacked by the local wildlife that want to eat my phone.

Bear: ROOOOAAAARRRR!

Bees: BUUUZZZZZZZZZ!

Miss Nakime: AHHH! GET BACK YOU ANIMALS! EAT SOMETHING ELSE!

_(sounds of roaring, buzzing, fighting back, and chomping sounds are heard)_

Miss Nakime: OH NO! MY PHO—

#BEEP#

_Message 5:_ _(snickering is heard in background)_ Hee-hee-hee…shush! It's on!

Boy 2: Okay.

Boy 3: Let's go.

Boy 1: _(louder voice)_ GREETING, young one! I am the president of the Tofu Website!

Boy 3: And we're his assistants!

Boy 2: Yep yep! We are good stalkers!

Boy 1: And we'd like you to know that Cherry-sama is our biggest…umm…

Boy 2: Contestant!

Boy 1: Yes! Contestant! Anyways, we'd like you to—

Yuuki: O.o What are you guys doing?

Boy 1/Kousuke: Ummm…

Boy 2/Youji: Uhhh…

Boy 3/Youichi: Errr…

Yuuki: Who are you calling?

Kousuke: …You'll never find out!

Yuuki: Hey! Don't hang up the phon—

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AN: Yeah… I'm done this chapter… This took me a lot less than last chapter… Please review! 


	3. 3: Souta’s Answering Machine

**Chapter three  
****By Cherry-sama**

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AN: Hi! And welcome back! Ummm… This is Souta's… Just to let you know, there will be some answering machines in the Dream World…

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/Souta's Answering Machine/

Souta: Hello. This is the residence of the Inaba Family. My parents have asked me to say this. I, like most of my friends, have had a weird stalker by the name of Cherry-sama give me this answering machine. I should probably ask her why the words 'SOUTA! YOUR AWESOME!', all in capitals, is written all over the answering machine… She used 'your' instead of the correct 'you're' or 'you are'… Anyways, if I, or any of my family members cannot answer the phone, you are welcome to leave a message.

#BEEP#

_Message 1:_ Hi Souta… This is Yuuki… I was wondering if you have seen my blow drier… I have no clue where it is, since it had somehow disappeared from the clothesline, a few days before. I thought it was at Takaomi's place, but he didn't have it. I thought my brothers had it but they were innocent… If you hear anything, please call back.

#BEEP#

_Message 2:_ HI SOUTA!!!!!! IT'S ME!!! NACHI!!! I LOVE YOU!!! But Takaomi doesn't love me… Nuts! Anyways, I got mad at Yuuki a few days ago and while I was leaving, I slipped her blow drier (which was hanging on the clothes line) into my pocket and went home. If she asks about it, tell her that you're holding it ransom for ¥1234567890 and to leave the cash by Nachi's house, with a note on it saying 'I'm sorry Nachi, Takaomi's yours'. But, before I return it… I could maybe use the blow drier for my own hair… AND I'LL MAKE IT PRETTY-FUL! Ahem. Don't tell her quite yet…

#BEEP#

_Message 3:_ Souta… It's Takaomi here. I don't know why… But apparently, there's a random stalker on the loose… And from Yuuki's sources, she's living off of grass and iced tea cans, in Yuuki's backyard. Yuuki says that it's really annoying having the person in her backyard, living off of nothing but grass and iced tea cans, since she constantly yells stuff about chipmunks and something about Nachi being guilty… So she asked me to take care of the…thing…

Cherry-sama: CHIPMUNKS!!! NACHI'S GUILTY! I LOVE ICED TEA!

Takaomi: Oh! That's a new one!_ (sounds of scribbling on a notepad are heard)_

Cherry-sama: SOUTA!!! YOU'RE AWESOME!!!

Takaomi: Anyways, I'm wondering this. What do you give a rabid human like this to eat?

Cherry-sama: ICED TEA HAS CAFFEINE!

Takaomi: I have a sinking feeling that answers my question…

#BEEP#

_Message 4:_ Hi Souta… _(static)_ This is Keima… _(static)_ I'm asking you to tell_ (static)_ my parents that I'm okay. I'm currently _(static)_ stuck inside the dump truck, with so much trash that it's a _(static)_ paradise! I managed to find a homeless _(static)_ guy in here that also loves trash, and he _(static)_ traded this cell phone for the plastic bag I was thinking of _(static) _using. I wonder why he traded it for a _(static)_ ¥5 plastic bag? And why is there _(static)_ so much stat—

#BEEP#

Message 5: Hello. Do you have my son? Well? Do you? I KNOW YOU HAVE HIM! Wait… Who's Souta? Wait a minute… I think I have the wrong number…

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AN: Yeah… So this is this chapter… So…many…events… Ahem. The last message actually happened to my sister… But it wasn't on the answering machine… Anyways, please review. 


	4. 4: Keima's Answering Machine

**Chapter Four  
****By Cherry-sama**

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AN: Yeah… Um… This is Keima's Answering Machine. I am writing this now, while I'm suppost to be doing more important things, because I have an urge to do so. KEIMA'S COOL!!!

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/Keima's Answering Machine/ 

Keima: Hi… This is Keima… The reason I am not answering my phone is because I'm either searching through my trash, or inventing something weird. But if that's not the reason, I could end up chasing the garbage truck, like I do almost everything week. Thus, I blame my parents. And if this is that weird person who gave me this answering machine…oh, what was her name…Cheery-stuff? Yeah! Cheery-stuff! Anyways, thank you because now I can dissect it whenever I want! Anyways, please leave a message after the sound of clacking of two different bags of plastic that have turned solid!

#BEEP#

_Message 1:_ YOUR WELCOME!!!!! This is Cheery-stuff! IjustdrankawholelotoficedteacansandIreallylikeeatingcheesebutwearecurrentlyoutandTakaomi'sfamilyhasrunoutbecauseIjustateitallanditwasCHEDDAR! ME LOVE CHEDDAR! BECAUSE IT TASTES GOOD!!!

#BEEP#

_Message 2:_ Hi Mr. And Mrs. Sagami… This is Souta… I just want to tell you that your son is currently in the city dump truck. He phoned me on the cell phone he bought from random hobo, that somehow works without a cell phone plan… No, not the hobo, but the phone itself. But I'm worried about Keima… I would jump out of the truck if I met a hobo in the city dump truck… How did that hobo get there?

#BEEP#

_Message 3:_ Hi Keima! This is Yuuki! I have lost my blow drier and I cannot seem to find it… I was wondering if you took any circle thingies that have two sticks coming out of each end. Oh! And a wire coming out from the bottom of one of the sticks! I think you might have it because you like collecting trash…and I know you don't know what a blow drier is, so maybe it was stolen by you because you wanted to use it. If you could call me back that would be—

Youji: YUUKI!!! Kousuke stole my—

Yuuki: SHUT UP! I'M PHONING SOMEONE!

#BEEP#

_Message 4:_ Hi _(static)_ mom. Hi _(static)_ dad. I bought this cell _(static)_ phone from a random _(static)_ hobo in the truck. He's very _(static)_ nice… We should invite him over for dinner some _(static)_ time. We were talking about cardboard _(static)_ boxes when the truck decided that it didn't like us _(static)_ hanging around so it kicked us _(static)_ out. But it's not as harsh as _(static)_ it seemed. The truck had a _(static)_ heart after all! He dumped in the biggest _(static)_ pile of trash I ever seen! I just wanted _(static)_ to go swimming in it! But I knew you _(static)_ would get you guys would be mad… Um, by the way, don't mind _(static)_ if I come home smelling of empty _(static)_ tuna tins and rubber ducks. I spent _(static)_ four hours just collecting stuff to _(static)_ take back home and use! Anyways, I met the _(static)_ hobo again and we're going on a master _(static)_ adventure trash plot to kidnap _(static)_ the truck and drive me home. So don't _(static)_ worry about me! By—

#BEEP#

_Message 5:_ HI KEIMA!!! It's me again! Cheery-stuff! KEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECOOLKEIMAYOU'RECO—

Takaomi: Ack! What are you doing out of the closet?

Cherry-sama: Err… Nothing…

Takaomi: Why are you holding the phone receiver? …O.O WHO ARE YOU CALLING? HOW DID YOU GET TO THE PHONE? HOW DID YOU—

Cherry-sama: I'm not telling you anything until you tell me how _you_ got out of the closet!

Takaomi: I NEVER WAS IN THE CLOSET!

Cherry-sama: Oh yeah…

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AN: And that's chapter four! But all of you guys have to agree that Keima's cool! COOL! COOL! Please review for Keima's coolness! 


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